Lucy

Lucy started life as a teaching aid. Built in the days before LED lights, Lucy was stuffed with dozens of small 15 watt lamps that were at one point linked to a control panel that would make them illuminate to show circulation, respiration and other medical phenomena.

Lucy is mounted on a vintage French telephone table, from the days when a house would have only one phone and it would be situated in the hall. Where Lucy now stands there used to be a cabinet which would contain the multiple telephone directories and Yellow Pages that were an essential part of the telephonic process.

In the 1970s telephones were so rudimentary you couldn’t even use them to take a decent selfie.

£4800

height: 1410 mm

width: 1200 mm

depth: 620 mm

The telephone table is bound in authentic 1970s mustard velour. The buttons are now rather more sparkly.

Lucy has undergone something of a character transformation since her teaching days. I don’t think her parents would approve.

Gold blood courses through Lucy’s veins. That’s because she’s a true aristocrat.

The swan on Lucy’s shoulder is the crowning glory of her epaulette, which is linked not by a gold braid to a button, but by a brass chain to her breastbone.